The Day I Stopped Apologizing for Being Quiet—and Started Winning
When I was about to graduate from college back in 1983, I made a firm decision: Find a job that didn’t involve talking to large groups of people. In my mind, the dream job meant doing computations, research, paperwork—all things that didn’t require much conversation. You see, I was very shy (honestly, I still am!) and starting or sustaining conversations felt almost impossible. At the time, I thought being introverted was just a weakness I’d have to live with.
Accidental Trainer
Fast forward to my first job: I became an operations auditor at a gold mining company. What I didn’t expect was that I’d end up standing out for a completely different reason.
At the time, desktop computers were just starting to enter workplaces, and very few people knew how to use them. I happened to be one of the few who did—programming in BASIC, creating spreadsheets in Lotus 123, and typing reports in Wordstar. (If you recognize any of these, we definitely share the same era!)
Before I knew it, I was being asked to teach my colleagues how to use computers. Imagine that: the shyest person in the room suddenly in front of groups, giving lessons. It was uncomfortable at first. Terrifying, even. But after enough sessions—stumbling, learning, adapting—I got the hang of it. I became the go-to “computer guy” for our department.
At first, I saw my new role as a technical necessity—just part of helping the team keep up with technology. But as the requests for training kept coming, I realized this wasn’t just a one-off thing. I was stepping into a space that demanded constant interaction, explanation, and public speaking—the very things I had once promised myself I would avoid. It made me pause and wonder: How did I end up here? And more importantly, Was I really cut out for this?
Self-Doubting Teacher
Teaching wasn’t something I initially set out to do—but somehow, it found me. In 1989, I started lecturing at a couple of universities in Manila. Standing in front of a classroom full of students was still way outside my comfort zone, but little by little, I found my rhythm. Then came bigger adventures.
In 1999, I took a leap and accepted a teaching assignment in Huizhou City, China. Later, in 2008, I packed my bags again and moved to Bangkok, Thailand for another teaching opportunity. Each experience sharpened my skills as a business and management professor, challenged my thinking, and expanded my view of the world.
Yet even with all those years of teaching under my belt, I still carried this belief: I’m too quiet. I’m not like the other professors. That inner doubt never completely left me.
In 2013, I finally returned home to Manila—and this time, I decided to go all in. I shifted fully into a life of corporate training and university teaching, bringing everything I had learned across different countries and cultures into the classroom and the boardroom.
Still, a part of me wondered: Why am I doing this when I’m not built for public speaking? Every time someone commented, “You’re so quiet for a trainer or a teacher,” it felt like confirmation that silence was a flaw I had to hide or overcome.
Transformation
And then, in 2016, everything changed. That’s when I discovered CliftonStrengths by Gallup—a tool designed to help people uncover their natural talents and use them to their advantage. Curious (and honestly, a little desperate for answers), I signed up for the CliftonStrengths Coaching Course—a full week of self-discovery.
What I found blew me away.
My top strengths weren’t in talking, or leading massive crowds. They were in thinking. The CliftonStrengths assessment tool showed that I was a natural at five themes:
- Learner: I love the process of learning, not just the end results.
- Intellection: I enjoy deep, reflective thinking and meaningful conversations.
- Analytical: I’m driven to understand the why behind everything.
- Strategic: I can spot patterns, risks, and opportunities quickly.
- Relator: I value deep, authentic relationships over superficial networking.
It all made sense. My silence wasn’t a weakness—it was my mind constantly at work, solving puzzles, making connections, planning ahead. To my surprise, a couple of my coursemates even mentioned how much they valued the insights I had shared throughout our sessions—a small but powerful affirmation that I was finally seeing myself more clearly (see photo).
I realized I didn’t need to fight my nature. I needed to lean into it. So, I repositioned myself. I embraced what made me different and focused my energy where I was strongest: strategic thinking.
Winning
Today, I work as a strategic planning facilitator and consultant, helping organizations map out their futures. My once “quiet” nature has become my greatest asset—bringing clarity, depth, and thoughtful direction to companies across different industries. And it all started the day I decided to stop seeing my introversion as a flaw—and start seeing it as my superpower.
If you want to know how CliftonStrengths can help you discover what you’re naturally good at, check out how the CliftonStrengths assessment works.